The bestower smiled….And she was in cloud 9, Heaven 7-whatever that means !!
You don’t know u possess a certainproperty, unless others tell u so…..and when there is a commendation from the very bestower of such property, u know what heaven looks like-right here on this earth ~ ~
When the ocean praises the river about it’s journey and the lush vegetations which it created on it’s sides ~ or the rain and the snow, which gave birth to the river ~ The river perhaps, feels the same way as you feel now…Although it might have taken a different route, a different journey than it’s creator …the very stamina,the way it could curve the banks and deposit the alluvium was due to all those who shaped it’s physics and determined the course it would take ~ ~
And so when that very creator compliments, there’s no looking back and no need to gosearching for happiness anywhere else….It is here,it is this,this is it ~ ~
Been confiding in my sibling for so long, I never felt the urge or need of a female companion,like sisters…who confide in each other – until I found you !! And now I know so many things for sure ~ I know that this companionship is unique, many cherished for such but never found one~ I know even if I had a sister,I might not have formed such a bridge between our hearts~I know with passing time our love and respect will grow~
With marriage, came the marriage of minds ..so apt,so glorified by so many and yet not overrated at all ….
Almost anything and everything is beautiful when looked thru’ the eyes of an artist….Photography is one such medium thru’ which u can capture the happenings around u, animate and inanimate , the way u see it and the way it’s supposed to be seen by u and how u want the others to see it !!
For there aren’t many people who can paint the essence of a subject or objectify the true meaning of an emotion …in it’s true colors- but in a click they can get near to their goalmuch faster and easily, much easily than wielding a brush and a palette !!
Photography for me is not only capturing the outer beauty of a subject , as I see it…but also capturing the inner beauty, as I feel it ….looking beyond more than u can normally see ~ ~
Never in a loss of subjects and beauty in everything u see, touch and feel ~ that’s art for me and photography comes to me more naturally than the stroke of a brush ~ ~
Been in love with so much and then gradually out of love with so many of them ~
But, books and food have been the eternal love of my life till date ~
I’m totally, obsessively in love with both of them…so much so that, even after piling up a few to read and no time to finish them all,I keep on hovering around the stacks in the local library…just to look at those objects of my absolute affection !! So much so that ….even after exhausting every piece of paper I could possibly find, with recipes…I still look for more,on a daily basis !!
And the love manifests itself in so many ways ~ ~
In love with the discussions I have or plan to have-with people who share my interest ~ with mom about the world cuisine and with dad about Chekov and Nemirivsky !!
Then there’s the sudden crimson tide in my sky and watching “ Un long dimanche de fiancailles “ ( “ A Very Long Engagement “ ) ..And then there’s the afternoon tea and a book, and some reflections,with some simmering thoughts, agitating slightly.
So much to love and so little time ~ ~
The golden flood of my morning sun,when the curtains are pulled open...and the thoughts of a book to read ….with contemplating breaks~ looking out at the misty mountainscape or the swaying wheat fields outside ur train window, or the rolling meadows….yellow with the harvest season written all over it ~ ~
In love with a cozy nook,where I can see the water or the sky or the combination of both…of the white clouds of hope and gray clouds of apprehension ….In love with a sunny solarium, overlooking the lotus pond,where the Koi fleets around or the woods,dark & deep ~ and all these….with books, books I love or would love to read....…..
In love with the colorful bazaars of Morocco,where I can buy all the spices of my dreams and cook the authentic food…In love with the opulent lands of Italy,France, Sardinia and others…where I can pick up the fennel and artichoke at their best, touch and feel the fleur de sel off the coast of Brittany or smell the lavender off the bouquet garni…..and cook ….just cook to my heart’s desire !!
In love with having a croissant & jam at a streetside bistro in rural France or the heavenly Pizza Margherita & Zeppole in Naples, Italy…. and feel at peace with myself ~ ~
In love ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ with having a sumptuous life ~ an eternal love affair of my senses ~
What is more alluring ~ the pleasure derived before ~ from the thoughts and thereafter ~ from treading, the forbidden paths Or the pain which comes after ?
Nevertheless, seemingly,no one can bar u from visiting those forbidden paths, of material and mind, to feel that dual rush of pleasure and pain !!
This morning, I saw the waters strewn with the fresh-cut grass and the blown away leaves. And then, in the evening, it was one big flowing,rippling body of molten gold,crystal clear…and in my mind,it substantiated,yet again…that it’s in motion, almost alive ~ ~
On a different note ~ Moving, is one of those things, which u never get used to,no matter how many times u go thru’ the whole process of packing & unpacking. For me, the only part interesting is looking for a new abode….and that comes with it’s usual hitches…a house of ur interest might suddenly become no longer available,leaving u dejected and irritated to go thru’ the process of sifting thru’ the list,shortlisting and shortlisting yet again...
A single word and it makes u wonder what myriads of emotions,thoughts & meanings it can bring about in ur mind !!
Moving is exciting…new place, new people,new opportunities,new life, fresh start…a new promise of a better tomorrow, almost as if the magical touch of an “ undo “ button lets u start afresh with a clean slate ~ ~
Well, it’s better to think of it that way,to block out the pains ofdiscarding,choosing,deciding to take or not to take and what to take,packing and then unpacking…and organizing,assembling…those inescapable chores and drudgeries !!
And then the fear of going away from people u love to socialize with, things u love to do and those specific times of the day when u did them….everything gets topsy-turvy with this one hit of a “ moving “ button…
But still,u move and keep on moving…bcoz that’s the nature of life..moving forward~ towards ur aspirations and inspirations, with a hope to get closer to the sunshine-away from clouds and gloom ~ ~
The ripples ….big and small ….some persist, some fade away…in the fluid of one’s memory !! I watched the rain-soaked bunches of the royal Poinciana,almost washed off it’s color…the puddles of water everywhere…and the next day, the ducks were so happy !! The dragonflies buzzed around ….the sun shone brightly and the golden waters…with it’s fluid gold ripples,flowing not knowing where it’ll meet it’s end …
Some thing stays with u, however hard u try to erase …Some things stay with u and haunt u pleasantly…with an urge to go back to them again…Things left undone,unsaid,unseen- accomplish them,or places that u shudn't go back to, going back to them …Some days even the twilight,the oncoming dusk,the balcony,the trees,the trilling birds doesn’t take away the weird stifling…Maybe an escapade would do the trick ~ ~
And so I watched Rebecca again…and the concluding part haunted me even more this time. I felt almost foolishly sad ~ there wud be no Manderley for me !! And no such memories where one can escape momentarily ~ memories where one had passed one’s time smelling the azaleas, listening to the waves crashing against the rocks, to the long walks on the lush grounds….No,I can’t smell the azaleas once again…not even in my memories..bcoz there was never a Manderley for me ~ * ~
This misty, foggy day….blurring everything but ur memories are distinct ~ of all those rain-soaked mornings and gloomy afternoons…so much distinct that u even remember clearly that dad and u had a special term for such days. The evenings were gloomy adding to it’s eerie romanticism…of the last drops dripping from the foliage, of the dampness, of the crickets chirping, of the rain lilies-yellow,pink,white~ lining the concrete pathway of ur mom’s garden- the drooping ones, those barely survived the stampede of the harsh, forceful rain and the few strong ones,swaying proudly in the zephyr…and then memories of the newly-formed puddles and muddy footmarks of dad coming home at the end of yet another day at work ~ ~ The creeping vines, full of mist-kissed buds and renewed hopes to bloom sooner and better…
And then, yet so many memories,which keep receding and getting foggier with each passing day…and will disappear suddenly but come mysteriously back one day,maybe…. The signal turns green and u had to keep moving, homeward…with churned-up thoughts and infiltrating the present mist and the fog ~ ~ ~
