The leaves rustle in the branches outside the balcony, and in a moment, a sudden gust of cool breeze caresses her...She loves these sudden soothing moments, when the wind plans to change it's course and take the path facilitated by the cross ventilation in her house..She keeps turning the pages she had been turning for so many days, so many years....Her notebook - scribbled with notes, of music...Some in her own handwriting-although dating back to her teenage years, some in her music teacher's, and some in the handwriting of her beloved thamma ...She had touched those pages, and those writings in ink- and felt her always being present in her life, in all it's form and functions and through music.The leaves of her notebook have changed their colors with time, though not yet brittle ....The diary dates back to 1986..and it was around '87 when she started going to the neighbourhood music school, holding Ma's hands, timidly following each and everything " gaaner didimoni " told her to do...Thamma, whenever she was around, used to sit with her while she rehearshed with her newly bought harmonium in the evening, after coming back from school...Thamma would volunteer to copy down the lessons for the day from the notebook of her " gaaner didimoni " ( music teacher ) !
At that time, she never gave this strange feeling a thought...that one day, 25 yrs later, this notebook would still be with her, and she would guard it dearly, like some precious treasure.....One day, 25 yrs later, when thamma is no longer around, she will miss her but still feel her presence when she sings...
Today, while leaving through that same notebook, a smile crossed her lips, when her eyes caught the date on top of one of the pages, in Thamma's handwriting- 8/7/1988 - It was such a consuming moment for her, the sheer enormity of the feeling that passed - How could she have missed those dates on top of each day's lesson ? The humongous number of years that have gone by, as if in the batting of the eyelids, of the sudden emptiness of so many people not being around anymore...Of the physical impression which a person leaves behind, things outlasting a person's physical presence in this earth - Thamma is no more, but she'll always be there for her-through her handwritten notes, notes that tell stories of love, blessings and a lot of other things called which comes with the relation called " Grandma " ~ ~
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