* * Moonlight Sonata * *

One of my favorites by Ludwig Beethoven…transports you to a different world and can  actually make you feel like watching the moonlight shining on Lake Lucerne when you listen to this composition…

Moon…keep on gazing at her for hours and yet,it won’t be enough to solve her mystery !! She’s enshrouded with pure alluring enigma which keeps you pulling towards her and makes you come back for more-You never feel you are done with the moon, even after all these years  ~ ~

Who isn’t attracted to the profound virgin beauty of the  moon-Although they say that even the moon has blemishes on her face, the enticement she’s been creating on everyone’s inner senses is not marred to the least !!  The poets,the painters to the young girl who has just started to blossom.- one and all has sung for her,about her  and will continue to do so for many more years to come……

Like Keats had written in “ The song of Wandering Aengus “  - “ The Silver apples of the moon…”   ..we are well aware that every being is beautified under the spell of those silvery moonbeams …Your Lady love or the lady of your dreams,when she comes out in the balcony on a full moon night, steals away the last word from your mouth ~

I have awaited to watch the full moon rise, through the boughs, huge,round and orange – Those were some nights  ~ ~ I’ve watched her gradually and magically turn the waters of the reservoir in front of our house into one silvery,shimmering body,as she climbed higher up in the inky blue sky ~ ~  I’ve driven down many highways, with the moon by my side,high up in the sky , playing hide and seek with the clouds …and I had begged earnestly for one last look at her glorious face ~ ~ I had experienced the rare occurrence of a blue moon once…and also of the colossal red moon of Dev Deepawali,rising from the waters of the Ganges …while the ghats are adorned with hundreds and thousands of earthen lamps…and the temple bells chiming at their fullest ~ ~ A boat ride followed by some time spent on the alluvial sands of the Ganges,on a full moon ~ ~  I had played with the moonbeams flooding my bed through the bedside window, on a full moon night ~ ~ I had sung many songs on many holi purnimas, when our rooftop had been painted in those shades of silver ~ ~ The full moon of summer,intoxicating as she is, accessorized with the smells from the tuberose and jasmine ……Yes, I had been there, gotten drunk in those exhilarating moments and felt elated ~ ~

The smallest sensualisms derived from natural beauties sometimes gets lost in the battle of life or with so-called modernizations, so much so that you are forced to enjoy those same things in a different scenario- My bed doesn’t get awash with those rays anymore…and I jump at the littlest rare silver I find in my balcony on the full moon nights..I’ve derived happiness from the full moon over the Niagara Falls..and often just from knowing that the moon will be at her fullest on so and so date ….

But I still love her..she’s here and she will always be wherever I’ll be ~ And so will the memories and happinesses that bind us together ~ ~ * ~ ~

~ ~ Stuck on you ~ ~

On tiptoes, he came…stealthily…slowly….Gradually walking the sidewalks until he treaded into the main streets of her life …and every cells of her being,even the teeny-tiny ones, soaked him up like a sponge soaks up water and plumps up…He fattened her up with his love and life was never the same as before..It was deeper, heavier and soggy with those special touches…Like the all-encompassing rush of waves on a beach,which sweeps everything away with it, she kept drowning in the those bigger and smaller manifestations which cries out being in love !! Just like a secret hole keeps sneaking out stuffs,much to one’s annoyance,her life was full albeit the presence of one big surreptitious hollow- One which can only be plugged shut by the multi-dimensional magic called love.. and shut it did !!

And she felt like ~ ~  ~ ~

When it rains...I imagine it wetting ur lips like drops of water on a rose ~

The smell of long-awaited raindrops on the parched earth reminds me of u...

The twilight, with it's orange-pink hue....tries to brighten my world..but why do I still miss u ?  The starlit night , is always so lonely even with thousands of stars smiling down at me …

And the moon .....

Ohh..It proves once again -nothing can be beautiful on it's own..

For beauty lies in the eyes of a beholder….

Words come to my mind but it feels like my quill is dried off ink ….

Why am I at a loss of words? Is it ur memories or ur absence ?

The presence of ur absence makes everything so distinct…..

That I can hear my heart crying….my breath sighing, my soul pining for u ...

So come back once again..

And let those smells mingle and be one to me..

So that stars don’t mock me and the moon ....

So that words come flowing ..

So that I can fly on the wings of love ~ ~

And when you are here,  the twilight will seem faded and bleached ......

Because of the color of ur love which will paint my world with all the vibrance of  passion and bliss !!

You see…I’m stuck on you….eternally ~ ~

While I dry !!

It’s been 3 days and I’m still a little damp- I miss the sun on this side of the lake…It took me half a day to dry on the other side,with a little help from all the outpouring,unbearable sunrays all day long......Her plans of making lentil dumplings,the traditional sundried way-stayed in black and white – I sensed her regrets for having wasted all that sun,heat and all those sunny days which she could have utilized…..

But, I’m getting used to be on this side now..and she will too..She had been watching over the changing shades of the waters with the shifting sun …the vanishing and emerging reflections of the objects bordering the banks …and the change in the fluidity,from placid to it’s soft flow and ripples ..  and she would love to watch them now from here….while I await to dry !!

The Predator - Prey Balance

New house,new view ..And what a view,I must say !! First day of being alone and unpacking..my eyes caught sight of some action in progress !! Let me say,apart from TV channels,movies and magazines …I’ve never seen anything like this..Predator-Prey relationship ..in action..

Well, I once saw a turtle killing a grackle ( a kind of bird,resembles a crow ) – The grackle was bothering the turtle for quite some time, pecking at it continuously and trying to push it back into the lake..and the turtle reached the heights of it’s patience and bit the grackle’s neck…and stayed latched on like that for a long time,until the bird died…But that was not a predator-prey relationship..just one of those small fights of nature ~

I was staring out into the open and saw the great blue heron, a very frequent visitor around here,holding something big and red in it’s mouth..I rushed outside with my camera and yes,I guessed right-It was a huge fish-shiny,with red,blue,silver tints on it’s body-hanging from the heron’s mouth…I tried to take as many pictures as possible,the distance and the meshed net of my balcony created obstacles – I was tensed as I was expecting the fish will disappear in a few moments and I won’t be able to capture this event...But there was a twist in store for the three of us- Heron,Mr.Fish and me !!

…The fish was too big for the heron to swallow…It was dangling from it’s mouth while the heron stood still ..my guess is it was contemplating a way to kill it ..It tried and tried to swallow,maneuvering it’s long neck in various fashions-Failing to have the desired effect, it lay the fish on the grass-The fish starting jumping and dancing around franctically…Now, the heron took it’s time and landed a few serious jabs,stabbing the fish with it’s sharp bills…And then repeated the same process of swallowing it whole ..This continued for a good length of time and to my surprise-it let go of the fish,back into the placid lake …

The very common predator-prey relationship of nature..and though not common,but the prey often wins-even if it’s smaller and weaker than the predator-It does win sometimes - using several survival tactics,sometimes using it’s sheer intelligence,sometimes just being of a advantageous size and shape …And when the prey wins, the onlookers-Us-feel so happy,mostly because the prey is weak,small and helpless- But with clearer thinking,sometimes our perspective changes-If the predator doesn’t hunt,it won’t have anything to sustain on and that will make it weak and helpless..Now that the predator failed, it has to go through so much struggle to find something else to eat and feed it’s young ones .That’s what is called LIFE ..

Humans don’t think when they eat their food-how much we are killing for our survival and fanciful enjoyments..We are the largest predator that can ever be- We tend to enjoy a wide array of nature’s resources.. ….

Whevener I feel sad for the prey ,I tend to direct my thoughts to the predator-It has to eat and survive too !! And if it’s any consolation,the prey itself is a predator to a lot many creatures …The circle of life- an unique machine of this earth-The predator hunts on the prey…the fittest survives, leaving the predator hungry and frustrated ..The predator is a prey to a bigger predator and prey is a predator to a smaller prey..Let your thoughts stay on this thought and keep the circle of life rolling,eternally ~ ~

Summer !!

If you look at something as simple as a foliage,you can sometimes perceive so many of God’s creation in one single glance- A dainty cobweb, probably spun by a spider named Charlotte, raindrops and sun playing whimsically, in sync on them and on the berries studded neatly in between the bunches of beautifully arranged leaves !!

It’s full-blown summer –something is bursting with abundance ,some are shriveling up ….There are a bunch of turtles who are playing hide-n-seek when the sun is at it’s highest …..The fishes are having a blast in the murky waters of the lake,insects and dragonflies are buzzing around,the band of duckling are following their mom’s trail in foraging ….You look at all these and feel that you had to be here today to appreciate the harmony of nature…God has bestowed everyone of us with providence and to take control,you have to be out there and watch them do whatever they do best and let them continue to do that for ages to come ~ ~

The overlook !!

The hanging balcony,the round balcony running around the perimeter of the house or the straight balcony along the front of the house-Whatever it is, I absolutely need to have a balcony…they are my breathing spaces....They are my refuge from the present and a time machine to my past ..These jutting out structures- I hold so dear to me,without them I feel like asphyxiating ..Whatever a balcony was to Juliet,it couldn’t have been less for me !! Whatever a balcony was to Monet, it was almost the same for me with let’s say a “ minor “ difference- I cannot wield the brush like he did,but that didn’t stop me from painting a thousand suns and moons,of the ablaze sky and trees- all in the empty canvases of my mind….How else would I dream of catching hold of those fluffed up clouds and want to feel their texture between my fingers,if I haven’t had a balcony to call my own ???

Questions, unanswered !!

Who am I ? How do I define me ? Is this me ? Is this what I’m supposed to be or was I destined for something else ? Is anything predestined at all or do you chose your own fate? Is there a way to undo your decisions or are there some invisible hands at work to make you chose the path you chose,relating back to the predestined effect !!

I’ve heard so many times- You get what you deserve- everything is pre-ordained and laid out for you the moment you arrive in this world !!

How much of it is true ? How much are the “ deserve “ and “ preordained “ parts connected to each other ?

So, what enamoured me in Mr.Frost’s poetry for so long was just a fantastical world of my own ? Are there or aren’t there two choices a person can get, and once he choses one of them, he pines for the other one for the rest of his life …or is it that however multiple choices you get, you always end up in walking those paths which you were destined for …with your thoughts,desires,exercises, essays playing no part in it whatsoever ?

Even if you think and plan that “ you have miles to go before you sleep “, the dead end might just be around the corner !!

If such is the true yet hushed up picture, is this the farthest I go ? Or am I to still await my arrival ?

Rathyatra

Like so many others festivals, Rathyatra has always been a very significant part of our growing up years….and all those years are now a big fat colorful blob of memories in my mind- one huge borderless collage of memorable years,clumped together in one frame…So many years of looking forward to this day each yr with the same fervour,if not more ...The very exciting “ Rath-r Mela “ or the fair- A must-visit event for us every yr, so much so that,at one point of our lives,we used to travel 40 kms from our home-An evening spent in lots of shopping -Our main interest being mostly in books-from the Book Fair part of this Rath-r Mela and Mom’s was plants and cactus-from the Agriculture Fair !!

Something connected eating papad bhaja ( deep fried Poppadum ) with Rath for us Bengalis….

When younger,until a certain age, every yr we used to decorate small Rath(chariots),bought specially for the occasion- with decorations made of crepe and marble papers,flowers plucked from our garden,prasad like “ Batasha,nokuldana,michri,misti etc “ and a small Jagannath-Subhadra-Balaram together as the centerpiece.

Bro’ and I used to compete with each other,trying to outdo each other in our decorations and Thamma ( Dadi ), who was the chief initiator of all these fun, used to declare both of us winners for the day !! Thamma was very very enthusiastic about everything…and specially Rath was one of such occasions which I always associate with Thamma ..Nothing else can come in the same sentence with Rath other than Thamma,who used to help us plan and then put together all the decorations !!

We used to sit with her in our patio after lunch , with our Rath(chariots),all the flowers we plucked,all the decorations we crafted out and put everything together on the Rath ( Chariots )…She even prepared her special homemade glue for these occasions....

After that, Bro’ and I used to go out and pull our chariots in the concrete garden path..and then there used to be Chariot Racing …which ended with yet another fight !!

In the evening,we used to accompany Dadu to the nearest temple, where a big chariot procession was in effect-One time, I lost my new silvery sandals to the crowd while trying to touch the chariot rope ( which is an auspicious & holy ritual ) and that put this affair to an end !!

And with passing years,it was decided by the elders that we are too big to decorate and pull Rath in our garden path anymore- So from then onwards,Rathyatra for us,meant the arrival of the grand fair and our annual visit to it, rain or shine !!

Today, RathYatra is only a date on the calendar,a day dedicated to churning out some old memories,with images of small colorfully adorned chariots in our garden path,fluttering around in my mind..jumbled up assortment of all those old taste,smell,sound,sight & sensation ~ ~

~ Impression of a lifetime ~

So many things shape the mind,actions,thoughts and life of a child-Parents,environment,school,friends…and sometimes very importantly-the teachers…So much so that, sometimes they form a lasting impression on their minds and stay with them throughout their lives.....Something like this had happened to me ~ ~

I have been lucky of being a teacher’s pet most of my life and have received that special attention from them during my school days.Those fond memories are still with me…And I always thought-That was it – Until one day,I woke up after a night of dejection and gloom,and felt rejuvenated-The reason being one very strange dream,the one which took me back to the yesteryear -and that dream gradually came back to me as the day unfolded itself ..

I was back in school-One of my favorite teachers from high school was reading out one of my papers in front of the whole class and then afterwards,she encouraged me and told me something which stuck with me…As always,she appreciated me and professed her immense faith and pride in me, and then she encouraged me..of things I’m capable of,of things she expects from me …This particular teacher-I was in awe of her..And as if she was the only one who could pull me out of my temporary state of dispirit ..And on this particular date,when I felt down,she came back from my past and cheered me up,reminding me of my true potential !!

It was so strange to realize all of a sudden that although a certain person had some place in your mind and heart, she can have so much influence on you,that in your subtlest moments,in your subconscious state of mind…that person stealthily creeps back from the long gone past, and with a few right words can bring you right back up on your feet !!

~ ~ Inconspicuous

Saw a fallen branch on the banks..and went down to take the clean shot,which I was unable to get from my balcony

~ And when I was done with the conspicuous, my eyes caught the inconspicuous beauties of nature, which we happen to trample so often ~

I walk on these grasses every day, I look at this lawn,this bank daily-but still my inquisitive mind and exploring eyes have overlooked them……

I came upon so many different kinds of vines and saplings…vibrant green in their proud new self - There were humble blooms among the grasses,flowers of the growths that we often call “ weeds “ - Only if you look closer, you’ll notice their real nature, and know that such little beings can be so pretty,so bewitching……

There is so much quality in the macrocosm- so much richness flourishing in the sods ~ Seldom do we care to look for them…but when we do come across them, we grow to love them and eventually happen to contemplate the beauty and variety of miniscule beings, the roles they play in this whole existence…in their lives and our lives and the lives of the zillion other critters ~ ~