The boughs hanged low,very near to her..they were stretching out towards her..looking all grand in their green opulence…The verdure animated her emotions…And in a sudden moment of revelation,she realized what she was missing..She was missing that special someone,who would hold her hand whenever she outstretched her own towards that person,in joy,in sorrow,in fear,in apprehension…in times of need-happy or sad..These sturdy limbs were in a way telling her to find that special someone…or more so,find friends to lighten up this darkness that’s been prevailing and hanging low,in her life !! And simultaneous to this revealing moment,the thunder clapped loudly with a sudden gust of wind rustling it’s way through the foliage-almost like in a movie,which made her smile …She decided to find those gems of life,in the little flashes-whenever there would be a lightning on a overcast day !!
The kissing touch of a dewdrop which might open a bud and glisten the blades of grass, the touch of the sun which brightens things up, the touch of a bee that can transform a flower to a fruit ,the touch of an artist which gives finesse to an art, the loving touch of appreciation left by someone, caressing touch of the breeze cooling you down-on a hot summer day,the touching words of support,even from a stranger-which soothes you to the core and calms you, the touch of a mother which soothes her baby-even if the baby’s 40 yrs old now...There are so many different manifestations of that word and so many different ways that word can affect someone or something...Let that touch , touch you..Let you be touched by that effectual touch…..
Again, a memory flash-more so of the sense of smell than of sight-A hazy evening, darkness drawing close, dad returning from work, local market bustling with their evening produces,smell of samosa frying in the sweet shops,smoke rising-and my sense of smell tells me it’s from the clay furnaces or the “ chullah “...People who use them are lighting them up,getting ready for the evening’s cooking fare !! The smoke mixed with the dust and the pollution creates the haze,that has a peculiar,distinct smell-which is stuck deep inside my nostrils,perhaps for my lifetime…I love those hazy evenings,specially during those durga puja,when they combine with the smell of “ dhoop ( incense ) n dhuno ( a special variety of powdered incense which Bengalis associate with every kind of pujo- A earthen pot,with a handle,a funnel shape base with an open top- burning coal, charcoal or coconut husk is placed inside it and then the powdered incense mixed with camphor, is poured on top of it,which creates an aromatic white smoke )- Oh,how I love those engulfing smells and those hazy,smoggy evenings…And with each passing days,as they seem to move away farther and farther - I tend to keep pulling them closer to me,tighter to me….never to let go !!
And it’s strange how you can actually seem to long for things,for memories which you might have never created,long for a place you have never been to , long for a smell you have actually never inhaled…Something reminded me again of my haunting love for Wuthering Heights,of those Yorkshire moors,of those rolling valleys,of Heathcliff and Catherine-their consuming love,passion,dedication,longing …for each other.I was reading Julie Andrews’ memoir..and I was aroused by how she described her first visit to the moors- “ North Country” she called that part of England…And I could relate to everything she said and described,as if I myself have been there so many times and belong to that part of the world-although I have only been there,only maybe a thousand times,in my mind,wandering the moors,filled with heather and gorse…sitting on the rocks,overlooking the thin-steepled churches,the low stone walls,the sleepy villages full of tiny cottages,the stone houses mightily braving the forceful biting winds…which keeps howling through the nights,in the haunting barrenness of the moorlands…. And as if I can smell all those foggy,dampness of the air in those vales
and hills ..and long for that intense passion that can come ,perhaps only,with those sights and smells.. …
A storm was brewing in my mind..I came across this article about a bird- an Ivory-billed woodpecker to be precise,which is thought to be extinct. ..The majestic size (one of the largest in the world among woodpeckers) and the look and the fact that very few people have actually seen it,has led to the names –Ghost bird,Lord God Bird,Grail Bird etc etc.Uncountable number of expeditions have been launched in the south,mainly in the swamps of Louisiana,Arkansas to stalk and look for the bird..And many people have claimed to have spotted the bird over the years although for a few fleeting seconds- some while kayaking,some while canoeing,some while birding..others in their backyards….Some have managed to find signs left behind by the bird or heard him/her drumming or knocking on the trees,making holes….and thus they have known that it’s still out there..although maybe in very very few numbers….Widespread logging of the old-growth forests- all those swamps and pine forests which they love,hunting,specimen collection, genetic problems..have dwindled their numbers gradually and noone knows for sure how many are still out there or if there are any left.
The controversies between the authorities and those people who have claimed to have spotted them continues… ..
As I read on and on, I thought of the bird ~Wandering around, in the deep dark pine and cypress forests,somewhere..Successfully eluding all the prospective preys..to survive and carry on. I watched the sky go from sunny to gloomy,and then everything became quiet for a long,long time…The waters had a wiggly look on it’s surface. And then the sky turned gray and grayer..the storm was almost close- I saw the leaves at the top of the distant trees shake, and then the swishing sound was very very close..They rustled to the gusty wind …and gradually with the advancement of the gray clouds,the trees nearby rustled and welcomed the storm.There was a ripple here and another there created by the initial drops of rain ~ But I was lost, my vagabond mind kept wondering in the swamps and the cypress trees …wanting to glimpse the Ivory-billed for real !!
Anything that has a surprise is appealing to me...I love surprises. Anything which doesn't give away it's actual character by it's outer appearance or anything which gives a certain impression but has a sweet bitter surprise awaiting for you when you happen to delve deeper into it's realm..I love them..They make me smile,feel happy and leave me a-thinking....More so if it's food..Yeah, now I'm talking my language and my favorite one- Food..U take a spoonful of deep dark choc icecream and u find small chocolate discs...Like the havoc which a sip of margarita plays on your taste buds, when it commingles with the salt-kissed rim..There's nothing like the magic certain foods can create n how they interact with the buddy buds-Mix of the usual with the unusual...Chocolate with raspberry..Hot stuffed parathas dipped in cool cool yogurt...And what about the bitter surprise left by the weird-inside-of-a-brain shaped walnut, when all the chewing's done and it's good to go down the food pipe ? Boy,do I love that tune !!
Steel gray is not my favorite color..Well maybe only when it's the color of the sky ..with glossy green leaves on trees, peeling their moss covered barks, in the foreground to contrast it ....and the dark murky waters to catch those reflections and create the sight I can fall in love with..I love that steel gray...because it reminds me of those summer storms of my childhood, of those lush green paddy fields swaying in the crazy wind along the railway tracks and the streamlined journey of birds....And I love that exact shade of gray which used to make me happy with thoughts of sitting in the balcony, watching the fat raindrops collecting on the leaves...and inhaling the earthy smell .. ..If I could,I would go back to them...to those exact smell,taste and sounds...once again ~ ~
Deprivation of this sound of silence,atleast for this part of the day,would perhaps drive me crazy...The stillness of the water...agitated occasionally by sudden ripples and a “blob-glob“ sound of something dropping from those trees, hugging the banks of the lake…..And sometimes a bird cries out from somewhere,breaking the deep silence ….Or the sombre tune of the lull- not even a leaf is shaking - followed by the pitter-patter of the raindrops,out of nowhere...Or a sudden splash,bringing you back to the present - A turtle slid back into the waters..The call of crickets, signaling the oncoming dusk ~ These are sounds orchestrated by nature ~ All these sounds,piercing the silence..are agreeable to me….. And as the darkness draws in, the unfathomable sound of the dark,grave waters and the macrocosm gone to rest,for the day...energizing for morrow’s mundane affairs ~
I want the rest of the world-who are awake and busy, to keep quiet,put their systems on idle-atleast for this part of the day…and listen to these sounds ~ ~
One of my favorites by Ludwig Beethoven…transports you to a different world and can actually make you feel like watching the moonlight shining on LakeLucerne when you listen to this composition…
Moon…keep on gazing at her for hours and yet,it won’t be enough to solve her mystery !! She’s enshrouded with pure alluring enigma which keeps you pulling towards her and makes you come back for more-You never feel you are done with the moon, even after all these years ~ ~
Who isn’t attracted to the profound virgin beauty of the moon-Although they say that even the moon has blemishes on her face, the enticement she’s been creating on everyone’s inner senses is not marred to the least !! The poets,the painters to the young girl who has just started to blossom.- one and all has sung for her,about her and will continue to do so for many more years to come……
Like Keats had written in “ The song of Wandering Aengus “ - “ The Silver apples of the moon…” ..we are well aware that every being is beautified under the spell of those silvery moonbeams …Your Lady love or the lady of your dreams,when she comes out in the balcony on a full moon night, steals away the last word from your mouth ~
I have awaited to watch the full moon rise, through the boughs, huge,round and orange – Those were some nights ~ ~ I’ve watched her gradually and magically turn the waters of the reservoir in front of our house into one silvery,shimmering body,as she climbed higher up in the inky blue sky ~ ~ I’ve driven down many highways, with the moon by my side,high up in the sky , playing hide and seek with the clouds …and I had begged earnestly for one last look at her glorious face ~ ~ I had experienced the rare occurrence of a blue moon once…and also of the colossal red moon of Dev Deepawali,rising from the waters of the Ganges …while the ghats are adorned with hundreds and thousands of earthen lamps…and the temple bells chiming at their fullest ~ ~ A boat ride followed by some time spent on the alluvial sands of the Ganges,on a full moon ~ ~ I had played with the moonbeams flooding my bed through the bedside window, on a full moon night ~ ~ I had sung many songs on many holi purnimas, when our rooftop had been painted in those shades of silver ~ ~ The full moon of summer,intoxicating as she is, accessorized with the smells from the tuberose and jasmine ……Yes, I had been there, gotten drunk in those exhilarating moments and felt elated ~ ~
The smallest sensualisms derived from natural beauties sometimes gets lost in the battle of life or with so-called modernizations, so much so that you are forced to enjoy those same things in a different scenario- My bed doesn’t get awash with those rays anymore…and I jump at the littlest rare silver I find in my balcony on the full moon nights..I’ve derived happiness from the full moon over the Niagara Falls..and often just from knowing that the moon will be at her fullest on so and so date ….
But I still love her..she’s here and she will always be wherever I’ll be ~ And so will the memories and happinesses that bind us together ~ ~ * ~ ~
On tiptoes, he came…stealthily…slowly….Gradually walking the sidewalks until he treaded into the main streets of her life …and every cells of her being,even the teeny-tiny ones, soaked him up like a sponge soaks up water and plumps up…He fattened her up with his love and life was never the same as before..It was deeper, heavier and soggy with those special touches…Like the all-encompassing rush of waves on a beach,which sweeps everything away with it, she kept drowning in the those bigger and smaller manifestations which cries out being in love !! Just like a secret hole keeps sneaking out stuffs,much to one’s annoyance,her life was full albeit the presence of one big surreptitious hollow- One which can only be plugged shut by the multi-dimensional magic called love.. and shut it did !!
And she felt like ~ ~ ~ ~
When it rains...I imagine it wetting ur lips like drops of water on a rose ~
The smell of long-awaited raindrops on the parched earth reminds me of u...
The twilight, with it's orange-pink hue....tries to brighten my world..but why do I still miss u ? The starlit night , is always so lonely even with thousands of stars smiling down at me …
And the moon .....
Ohh..It proves once again -nothing can be beautiful on it's own..
For beauty lies in the eyes of a beholder….
Words come to my mind but it feels like my quill is dried off ink ….
Why am I at a loss of words? Is it ur memories or ur absence ?
The presence of ur absence makes everything so distinct…..
That I can hear my heart crying….my breath sighing, my soul pining for u ...
So come back once again..
And let those smells mingle and be one to me..
So that stars don’t mock me and the moon ....
So that words come flowing ..
So that I can fly on the wings of love ~ ~
And when you are here, the twilight will seem faded and bleached ......
Because of the color of ur love which will paint my world with all the vibrance of passion and bliss !!
It’s been 3 days and I’m still a little damp- I miss the sun on this side of the lake…It took me half a day to dry on the other side,with a little help from all the outpouring,unbearable sunrays all day long......Her plans of making lentil dumplings,the traditional sundried way-stayed in black and white – I sensed her regrets for having wasted all that sun,heat and all those sunny days which she could have utilized…..
But, I’m getting used to be on this side now..and she will too..She had been watching over the changing shades of the waters with the shifting sun …the vanishing and emerging reflections of the objects bordering the banks …and the change in the fluidity,from placid to it’s soft flow and ripples .. and she would love to watch them now from here….while I await to dry !!
New house,new view ..And what a view,I must say !! First day of being alone and unpacking..my eyes caught sight of some action in progress !! Let me say,apart from TV channels,movies and magazines …I’ve never seen anything like this..Predator-Prey relationship ..in action..
Well, I once saw a turtle killing a grackle ( a kind of bird,resembles a crow ) – The grackle was bothering the turtle for quite some time, pecking at it continuously and trying to push it back into the lake..and the turtle reached the heights of it’s patience and bit the grackle’s neck…and stayed latched on like that for a long time,until the bird died…But that was not a predator-prey relationship..just one of those small fights of nature ~
I was staring out into the open and saw the great blue heron, a very frequent visitor around here,holding something big and red in it’s mouth..I rushed outside with my camera and yes,I guessed right-It was a huge fish-shiny,with red,blue,silver tints on it’s body-hanging from the heron’s mouth…I tried to take as many pictures as possible,the distance and the meshed net of my balcony created obstacles – I was tensed as I was expecting the fish will disappear in a few moments and I won’t be able to capture this event...But there was a twist in store for the three of us- Heron,Mr.Fish and me !!
…The fish was too big for the heron to swallow…It was dangling from it’s mouth while the heron stood still ..my guess is it was contemplating a way to kill it ..It tried and tried to swallow,maneuvering it’s long neck in various fashions-Failing to have the desired effect, it lay the fish on the grass-The fish starting jumping and dancing around franctically…Now, the heron took it’s time and landed a few serious jabs,stabbing the fish with it’s sharp bills…And then repeated the same process of swallowing it whole ..This continued for a good length of time and to my surprise-it let go of the fish,back into the placid lake …
The very common predator-prey relationship of nature..and though not common,but the prey often wins-even if it’s smaller and weaker than the predator-It does win sometimes - using several survival tactics,sometimes using it’s sheer intelligence,sometimes just being of a advantageous size and shape …And when the prey wins, the onlookers-Us-feel so happy,mostly because the prey is weak,small and helpless- But with clearer thinking,sometimes our perspective changes-If the predator doesn’t hunt,it won’t have anything to sustain on and that will make it weak and helpless..Now that the predator failed, it has to go through so much struggle to find something else to eat and feed it’s young ones .That’s what is called LIFE ..
Humans don’t think when they eat their food-how much we are killing for our survival and fanciful enjoyments..We are the largest predator that can ever be- We tend to enjoy a wide array of nature’s resources.. ….
Whevener I feel sad for the prey ,I tend to direct my thoughts to the predator-It has to eat and survive too !! And if it’s any consolation,the prey itself is a predator to a lot many creatures …The circle of life- an unique machine of this earth-The predator hunts on the prey…the fittest survives, leaving the predator hungry and frustrated ..The predator is a prey to a bigger predator and prey is a predator to a smaller prey..Let your thoughts stay on this thought and keep the circle of life rolling,eternally ~ ~
