A grill …the instrument which plays a perfect tune to my hungry mind ~ All u need to do is to dress up ur fav or not-so-favorite stuff to eat & throw it on the screaming hot grill….and let it do it’s magic ~ Hear to the music the grill plays for u…the symphony to my ears ~ the sizzle, the crackle and…. the smell, which rounds everything up. And in case u r lucky enough to be the owner of an outdoor grill with a lid… lo and behold~ there’s “ The Marriage of Smoke and Time “ for u ~ I don’t have one but I plan to,bcoz that marriage is one I absolutely do need to perform and preside over !! For the time-being, I’m planning to keep practising on my little indoor grill pan which I hold very dear to my heart ~
I’m not sure if there is any need of a cocoon for anyone other than a Bombyx mori ~ to grow and evolve but then Bombyx mori is a beauty in itself, something unique…and it gives us something whose sole elegance can’t be surpassed by anyone, however majestic the wearer maybe !!
But what about the wishful want of a cocoon during harsh weathers & unfriendly settings ~ a cocoon so beautiful as a silkworm’s !!
Well, the story of a silkworm is a sadness in itself…it spins around itself all these beautiful threads ….a brilliant colored shelter, to survive,grow and evolve …and then when time comes for it to unfurl itself of the envelope and unfold the graceful creature it has evolved into…we pluck them off those white mulberry leaves and ere the proteolytic enzymes are secreted and the moth escapes the cocoon, we boil them …to get unspoiled long delicate fibres, which will later be made into something as refined and elegant as silk….for all those who can afford !!
I read somewhere - Man always kill the things he loves…Man always kill for the things he loves ~ like the silk cocoon…I love silk, don’t get me wrong..but when I think of what goes on behind ....Why to kill something so beautiful, to get something so elegant ? All those silk are tainted with the blood,the burns,the screams and the anguishes of all those scalded silkworms !!
Why not go for alternatives like Ahimsa silk/wild silk & artificial silk ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Something my better-half told me made me think ~ about the mysteries of this world…When a chubby nestling listens to all those stories the grandma-bird tells her, does it wonder like we did as kids ? When granny recollects her memories of flying around, alighting in the boughs of the woodland, of all those tall trees and all those benighted mornings bcoz of all those trees, of amassing food not as time-consuming as today,of all those romantic springtime evenings spent with grandpa in the efflorescence !!
The nestling looks around,half-timid, half-confused…the world outside her nest seemed so bountiful to her, so inviting, so abundantly lush…but now she knows what it used to be like, what she couldn’t get to see ~ When it’ll be her time to tell stories, how will the world outside the nest look like …or an even more scarier thought- Will there be any nest at all ?Grandma said monsters called “ men “are bringing down all the forests to make places for themselves or building “ highways “ through them…Very soon,they won’t know how to go to the other side or migrate, without getting lost, due to all these
I’m thinking of those cave paintings~ the ones I came across on our trip to Bhimbetka when I was fourteen as well as the ones I’ve seen in books ~ Like a child drawing in the dirt with a stick, was it yet another leisurely amusement or an expression of the state of one’s mind, of fears, of dreams, of hopes and expectations, of love and life …..Or was it a mode of telling a story, almost like writing a daily journal…whenever something significant happened,whenever there was something they wanted to tell everyone aloud….they painted..which is one of the most beautiful way to articulate the musings of one’s mind ~ Specially because thousands of years later, we see them although we still don’t know what they wanted to tell and why they chose this mode- there is something so clandestine about all this and in what physical and mental state they were in, when they painted !!
And all these paintings, that too with pigments that were part of the earth itself-mineral oxides,leaves,flowers,barks and so on ~ Living in harmony with the mother earth, on which they were so very dependent in their day to day lives…..This rare art form- is it an Arcanum and almost lost …..or do artists know them ?
For all those seeking out the enigmatic world , for those first explorers and discoverers who came across these bewitching caves paintings, they must have felt like finding the Shangri-La !!
What is this with French and being posh ?! Is it just me or are there people belonging to that same club ? There are thousands of languages that one can learn,most importantly Spanish,being in a continent where it is absolutely necessary…But non, one would rather learn French…with absolutely no plans even in the distant future to go to France!! Because I guess,it’s so chic to say a little French..now and then, even though no one else other than you might understand what you just said …and sometimes not even the les Français ..because of your so very faux accent….
Well, you have to agree this much …everything sounds so much sweeter,elegant,fashionable when said in French…And every piece of thing, is a thing to die for if it’s from that faraway fairy tale land of France…And perhaps,even if someone abuses you verbally in French, it would sound sweet to your ears !!
Actually, what’s there not to love about France and French and being French ? The Sel Gris, the fleur de sel, the miel de lavande,Cabernet Sauvignon, Chardonnay, Pinot Noir, Sauvignon Blanc…The melt-in-ur-mouth croissants,mousse,crème brulee,madeleines,tart tatin,eclairs,gateaux,quiche,coq au vin, ratatouille…..Yum!!
The French films …soquintessence- Juliette Binoche,Gerard Depardieu,Audrey Tatou,…..The Chanel- so expensive and out-of-reach…all so more enticing, the paintings of Renoir…..All so mystifying and enigmatic !!
So …I guess it’s back to where one started…enjoying all that’s French and feigning French…Eh bien, tout le meilleur ( Well then,all the best ) !!
How do u remember someone ? The easiest instruments to help reminisce are photographs,thoughts and discussion of times gone by and well-spent !! Some old dresses and accessories which belonged to someone else and have been passed down to you…everytime you feel them against your skin, you think of them~~
All the old places you visited-revisiting them..all the old smells,perfume,fragrances-smelling them again…The food which tastes so much like it used to, in old times-tasting that food~~
More often than not, recreating old recipes in your own kitchen…even if they might not taste the same when you prepare them, pulls you back into an ocean of memories …How you licked every bit off your fingers when “ she “ made them~ Was it during the summer vacations ? What else did we have ? What else we did, talked…what did “ she “ say, how “ she “ loved us…how we spent so much quality time together,creating material things which are eventually lost with time and creating emotional bonds,which will never be lost,however old they might get~~~~
And sometimes, even if you go back to thatsame old place, you just can’t relive those days..not because of anything else but because the person you want to revisit those memories with, is long gone away, to a faraway land….never to come back,ever again.
A trail of ants climbing down the sink….targeting the lonely spoon,which still tasted of amaretto icecream, although thoroughly licked off !! A sudden gust of water from my glass and they all wash away …What did the leader think when the first drop of water hit ? “ Run for ur lives guys…..flash flood !! Where on earth did all this rain come from ? ****#$@ “
I would never know and I’ll always wonder what the creatures think about our different actions-from the tiny ones to the big dudes !!
Does it make any sense to your neighbor’s dog, when u make faces at her or show her that “ slapping “ sign….with her name being “ Icecream “ and all, and she being so cute and fluffy, it always fun messing with a dog,and of course “ FROM A SAFE DISTANCE”…Mmmmm, like she being down there and u being up on ur balcony,safe…making all the faces and hand gestures u can !! Yay !! Apart from all the achievements you might feel, she actually might be getting pretttty worked up from down there and planning revenge that next time you come down,thinking " Not so funny u clumsy Homo sapiens, I'm gonna bite everything out of you the next time you're around and I'm not on a leash !! "
And what about, when u talk sweet to those ducks while feeding them your stale bread,with all your love,like you’re feeding them bbq chicken-fresh off the grill ..No wonder,whenever you go down those stairs,they come rushing from god only knows where, and make such terrifying faces..Well, You would think that they recognise you as the lady with all the love and the bread..A part of it is true..They do recognise you alright ..but not for the second part of the sentence..but as “ the lady who gave us the stomach flu..God only knows what she feeds us !! We won’t let her sweet-talk us into eating anything from her hands, ever again ….”
Ohh…what a mess !! We have cold wars with our friends,relatives,siblings..and now with animals and birds as well ???????? What the $#$#%#% !!
Why do I write ? Why to write at all and then display it publicly ? Am I so hungry for attention and commendation !! Well, actually the opposite..I’ve lots of thoughts and ideas..My mind wonders and wanders about very frequently, often to faraway lands…And then I feel like talking,expressing,opining, saying,discussing …and what is the best way to do that ?! To write, about anything and everything….and get it off your chest..Actually it’s a miracle worker for me…when I’m happy, I write..and when I’m sad, I write some more..It works like a charm everytime. And since most of this “ talk “ is going on within your own self,with you and your mind doing all the talking…it’s peaceful and inspite of all the debates,it’s resolved easily..much easily than open, verbal talks.
The first time I wrote publicly…I felt so very apprehensive…I didn’t even want my close ones to read it…Now, it’s actually easy for me..since I know my dear ones will never give any negative feedback and apart from them, I think hardly anyone reads my posts ..and those who do, don’t know me or even if they do, whatever their opinion is, they will keep it to themselves !! Uff, what a relief ~
So, whenever I get this itch to write….I scratch it hard, type up a storm on my keyboard and feel at peace :-)
Yeah…read about BP doing the “ top-kill “ thing now, what a gamble !! What a mess it must be down there, I can’t even imagine..So, I decided that I’ve had enough of this oil rig thing, panicking about it and following every update and the best way to cool off was to sit in the breeze..Stared at the bands of clouds here and the sea of clouds there, the setting sun, the reflections,the chirping of the birds who don’t sing and the songs of the songbirds ..It’s funny, everyday I can hear so many different sounds but I can’t see all the birds…they r so in there hiding !! Still thinking about that tree, and seething because I’m yet to know it’s name ….Am I or am I not in a mess emotionally ? Well, I try to be calm,atleast on the outside and relaaaaaaax my mind - but who knows what the chemical factory in my body is upto !! What chemical messengers and signals are being released….. Something about the clouds got me thinking about the cloudlessness of the Mojave desert.The sky was so crisp blue with the scarcity of the clouds adding to the unspoilt beauty..which although means less or no rain …and which of course makes it a desert zone !! I was thinking about the animals and birds of that desert…not being able to spot any in the hot sun, it seems all so more mystifying to me..The trees are so thoughtfully curved out of the ground, they seemed like a piece of architecture to me !! And the flowers, oh man !! the flowers…Have you ever wondered why the birds,beasts and the flowers of the desert are so brilliantly colored, how the trees so lusciously curved ….In an otherwise somewhat dull environment compared to lush verdure, although desert is so attractive in it’s being so vast and wild, those colors are the ones adding upto the allure. As hot and windy it was during the day, I wondered how crisp and lovely the evenings would be once the sun goes down…how about a picnic beneath the stars ?! And I know for sure that there will be lots of them, millions and millions of them…the sky being so clear, the nights must be ink-blue ~~~~~~
Although it is said “ parting is such sweet sorrow “, it’s not always true…All the partings are not sweet, because most of them don’t ensure us that we’ll meet again !! We spend so much time in building up a relationship with someone, and then although it’s not lost completely, it’s lessened by a remarkable level when there is a separation…A relationship- an intricate weaving of love,thoughts,memories ..Why do we build them when we might have to lose them eventually ?
When you fall in love, you fall heels over head….And then sometimes you lose that love…You may be happy again, but you never forget !! Although time- the great healer passes over you, it doesn’t always heal and neither lets you forget…And, everytime you fall in love again, it’ll be because something in the person reminds you of your lost love…
A relationship is not always judged by the length of time but by the magnitude of feelings…And parting with someone whom you might have known for years might be sometimes easier than parting with a friend ofa few days !!
We always think that happiness is a faraway thing, something complicated and hard to get.. We look for it in the most tedious manner, drifting from the real path in this process….Yet, what little things can make it up; Have you ever contemplated what small things of life can make you smile and be happy,even for a little while ? Just to be with someone one loves, to think about special moments and days of one’s life when there was a special someone with you…..simple things like a steaming cup of tea when you are really down, a wonderful book to read-outside on a breezy afternoon, a shelter from the sudden downpour during your evening walks…wafting fragrance of an unknown spring bloom…twittering of birds, pitter-patter of raindrops, rippling of the placid lake from a falling twig…..calls of the cuckoo-the advent of spring, suddenly coming across a long-lost object in the most unlikely of places, planning a long-awaited trip, looking at the Maple turning auburn from green, bit by bit… Falling in love,waiting for that phone call in trepidation and excitement…..holding a baby in your arms for the first time, realizing that someone loves you ……All these things and myriad more constitutes the key to happiness…..These things make you happy !!
Global warming and dwindling natural resources has already been successful in creating a pressure on our planet…then comes the recession-adding up to the prices of commodities, with number of jobless people on the rise resulting in lesser people who can afford to survive properly…Now, the oil spill- seafood prices will increase, fishing industry going down already,people again lose their livelihood with bans on fishing and shrimping..Nature’s way of showing that something is amiss and God’s way of showing his wrath ???????? Think about it !!
As I stare at those birds and dragonflies, or focus my camera onto them…they don’t have a clue that I’m trying to intrude into their private lives. For so long, the door to my balcony has been my window to the world…So many dusks have I spent, sitting in the balcony or standing on the threshold, looking out at the world as another day came to an end !! I wondered about so many things, but the most being about the beauty and peace abounding around me,at this time of the day…of the happiness I feel when I close my eyes and let the wind caress my hair….the rustling of the Sabal fans, the buzzing of the dragonflies, the tweets,chirps and varied sounds of the birds, the house swifts fluttering around and occasional sounds of the mechanical birds-on their downward flight to Fort Lauderdale airport !!
Everyone seems busy retiring in their own impassive manner. Although I’m totally slumped at this time, the retiring world out there perks me up..We are so bored with our daily mundane affairs, yet we find so much pleasure looking at the modus operandi of the birds,bees and trees…They are doing the same thing day in , day out- looking for food,breeding,looking after the young hatchlings or for the plants- growing, flowering,pollinating,bearing fruits,surviving the seasons.-Do they complain as much as we do ? Does the woodpecker get bored and tired of all the knocking it has to do for such a small bird ? Well, we’ll never know and yet we admire their daily routine and envy them for having such a beautiful life.
Now, the newfound hobbies of mine have provided me with a totally different perspective to theworld outside my balcony …I appreciate the wordly chores that has been assigned to each one of us and understand that for the larger machine to go on, we have to play our parts, no matter how much of a drudgery it might be !!
There are a lot of dragonflies, flying around, this time of the yr....Since my childhood days, I always associated dragonflies with the impending rain..don’t know till this day if there is any real connection- but even today whenever I see swarm of dragonflies flying around, in my mind I think “ It’s going to rain !! “.. I have been wanting to photograph one …and just today, as I was finishing up my work in the kitchen, I saw two of them-from my kitchen window…about 150 ft away..Yeah, u can say I have sharp eyes, even with my specs..Dropping everything I was doing, I got my camera and rushed outside, went down a few stairs to get a clearer view and zoomed on to them as much as possible..It was windy and the branches of the palmswere swaying too much, making it even more difficult in the zoomed situation ..Anyways, I managed to take a few photos, before they planned to change their position…and I’m happy !!
I looked up dragonflies on the net and found that like “ birding “, which I’m a great fan of, people pursue looking at dragonflies as a hobby and is called“ oding “ !! Now, isn’t that cool ?!
Take me to the other side …where there is that missing romance,passion,love !! Where there is respect and eternal bliss ….take me to that land of ethereal happiness.
“If I had but an hour of love,
If that be all it’s given me.
An hour of love; upon this earth,
I would give my love to thee.”
